Best NBA Copypasta Of All Time (2024)

I was at my local music store and I saw an album by no other then LeMickey! Here was the tracklist: 1. I’m a Fraud 2. Quit on CLE (ft. Boston Big 3)3. Meltdown (ft. JJ Barea)4. Thank You Ray5. Thank You Kyrie6. 6 Finals Losses 7. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (ft. Mickey Mouse)

Kevin Love yelled, “There you go!” Kyle Korver gave a look of pleasant surprise. J.R. Smith belted, “We got a f*cking squad now.” And before LeBron James hit the locker room door, ex-NBA star Kevin Garnett hugged him & said, “Y’all look so different.”

Am I the only one in this sub who's actually played organized basketball before? Like half of the comments I've seen on this sub are so obviously written by non-athletes that it's almost humorous. When I was in high school (3 year starter for our varsity basketball team) I would get a full-on sprint going and steal the sh*t outta whoever had the ball. My coaches called me "speedhawk" as a nickname cuz I had such a nose for the basketball and for those three seasons I was considered the most feared backup point guard in our conference. Senior year I led my team to the state semifinals only to get f*cked over by the refs in the 4th but that's another conversation (DM me if you're interested in hearing about it). So, yeah. I hope yall can understand why I feel like their's such a big disconnect between myself and your typical redditor. Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way lol.

No one is going to believe me, but have a friend whose brother's coworker briefly dated Tyronn Lue. She said that on their first date they went to a restaurant and Tyronn Lue ordered two different bowls of soup and mixed them together one spoonful at a time before eating both bowls mixed together as one soup

While with the Spurs, Kawhi was known for his love of red apples. One time after practice everyone decided to go out for a team dinner. When it was his turn to order, Kawhi waived off the waiter and instead pulled out a bag of 12 apples. Coach Popovich asked what he was doing and Kawhi simply replied “Apple lime, apple time." He then ate all 12 apples with a knife and fork.

Sources: Cuban beside himself. Driving around downtown HOUSTON begging (thru texts) Jordan’s family 4 address to DeAndre’s home

Derozan's kind of a clown tbh. He played at my school a few years ago. I saw him after the game and I flexed on him with a few of my favorite poses (perched eagle, blacksmith pivot) and he didn't do anything about it

Overheard in Cavs locker room after Game 7:“He got me,” LeBron said of Tatum's dunk over him. "That f***ing Tatum boomed me."LeBron added, “He’s so good,” repeating it four times.LeBron then said he wanted to add Tatum to the list of players he works out with this summer.

i think its hilarious u kids talking sh*t about harden. u wouldnt say this sh*t to him at lan, hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol

Clippers meeting with Durant was “intense” and “at one point Steve Ballmer was crying” but everyone grew closer and a big lesson was learnedKevin Love was confused when he didn’t see Jordan Clarkson run onto the court moments before tipoff Monday night. Then Love saw teammate Tristan Thompson, who was lagging behind. Thompson said one word to Love. “Utah”.

No one is going to believe me, but I have a friend whose brother's coworker briefly dated Tyronn Lue. She said that on their first date they went to a restaurant and Tyronn Lue ordered two different bowls of soup and mixed them together one spoonful at a time before eating both bowls mixed together as one soup 

UP UP and AWAY!! SUPER WASHED Ain’t He??!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤷🏾‍♂️. Stay low and keep firing! The air up there is a tad bit different. LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE #striveforgreatness🚀 #thekidfromakron👑 #jamesgang👑 #bronknows

The Blazers are fun to watch.It's like a guy with a small dick who knows how to use it. He has heart. He makes up for his lack of size with an unwavering commitment to giving it his all with every stroke. But really he has a lot of girth. You never think about the girth. His dick was never small. It's thick. And that helps more than anything.The Blazers are thick. Warriors have been use to giving their girl the long dick. They got too confident, you ain’t OG Mudbone baby. Tonight your girl was feeling adventurous. She f*cked with a man with some thickness. Girth Brooks. The dark horse of co*cks. Your girl was tired of getting that deep dick. She wanted to be stretched & filled. Don’t ever underestimate how girth can make your girl feel.Thank you Blazers for teaching a valuable lesson.

I saw Steve Blake at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

clock winds down to 5 seconds left in gameball is inbounded to Carmelo who turns face to face against Lebron"You took my family"moves to the left"You took my friends"moves to the right"You took all that was dear to me"clock winds down to 2"I cant get them back, but I can do this for friendship, FOR MY FRIENDS"goes up, fire coming out of his shoes"CARMELORUKEN"Ball flies over Lebrons head, goes straight into basket. Carmelo falls to the ground, exhausted."Shumpert... Senpai... I..."faintsFinal ScoreCavs 103Knicks 63

Unpopular opinion, but I hope he overcomes this. He is a regular at my grandparents' bagel shop in Miami and treats everyone with the utmost respect. When Covid-19 restrictions were lifted, Meyers was their first customer and bought a dozen bagels. As he was leaving, he put on his white Oakley's and playfully flirted with my grandma, "You look beautiful today Esther! Is that my phone number on your forearm?

Imagine being 23, hitting a game winner in an NBA game, going to sit in the locker room, taking out your phone and seeing 30 million dollars in your bank account, then opening instagram and seeing 1000+ message requests, all 10/10 girls shooting their shot and you just ignore it and respond to ur childhood bball teammate sayin "good looks bruh", then you get a text from kendell jenner talking about how she misses getting f*cked by you, but you're too busy to reply ("i gotta go shower, take a sh*t, eat etc. i'll prob reply to her later man..") so you leave it on "unread", then you stand up to get dressed but the key to your lamborghini falls out your pocket and you pick it up annoyed (f*ck bro, this sh*t is so annoying, I need a key ring) and throw it in your gym bag like it's a piece of candy or something...

I am 100% dead serious when i say I think there is at least a 50% chance that lebron is a genetically modified human being and in turn, has no father.I am dead serious. I believe lebron was grown in a test tube and then artificially implanted into gloria james and carried to term. no human being should possess his combination of size, strength and athleticism. AND to book it all out, he's very intelligent too. (besides the decision) remember how much poise he had just coming into the league at 18 years old? it's un-natural. how often have TV analysts described him as a "freak of nature" .....maybe it's truer than we know.I am serious. we all know (and I swear I am not saying this to be insulting or mean) that lebron's mom was a crack whor* (is drug addicted prostitute better?) it's just a fact, it happened. I am NOT saying this to be mean, in fact I am a heroin addict and know a few woman who have sold themselves for dope, it happens. they are not bad people.and the government has a history of using prostitutes and impoverished people in "experiments." read about MK-ULTRA. it happened. the CIA used to have prostitutes slip LSD to johns and then the agents would watch what happened thru 2-way mirrors. the government helped start and continue the crack epidemic of the 80s.I believe that lebron was a precursor experiment to create super soldiers. something where they were just like "well let's test it out on some poor people that no one will notice and see if we can get any results before we sink more billions into this." it's not all that crazy. you don't think the government has interest in creating genetically modified super human soldiers? we know for a FACT it does. it's been documented. you don't think russia or china has interest in such a thing? you know they do. and anything russia or china is or would be doing we are doing. to do it first and do it better.he's some kind of experiment that they just monitored from a distance and let keep growing. and i mean this was probably initially started with just a few people who believed it could be done and that's why it started small and covert using regular civilians. until they could show the results to the higher ups and say "look at this, you don't wanna fund this on a larger scale?"and where else would such a person end up besides in a professional sports league?I think there is probably some secret base(s) out there that are now filled with people like lebron, younger than him probably. if they couldn't see how well the experiment worked until he was about 16-18 years old (he was pretty much a full grown man at 16 and could have came off the bench for any NBA team if not started) than maybe there are a bunch of 9-15 year old super humans like lebron (not copies of him but given the same genetic boost that he was) eating chow in some secret barracks right now.....until someone comes forth and the DNA test shows him to be his father (and a bunch have come forward and been shown not to be) than I will believe this is AT LEAST possible..edit: something I'd like to add in case someone says "well if this is true why wouldn't lebron's mom come forward and admit it, just say I participated in a government experiment and lebron was the result." well she doesn't know. it's simple, she goes to a hotel with a john, he slips something in a drink and she gets knocked out-cold. they take her and do whatever they did. give her some amnesiacs or anesthesia (probably benzos too) so when she wakes up she's in a haze and doesn't remember anything. not even the john. she finds out she's pregnant later and just assumes she got knocked up by any random john. has lebron. sh*t even if she participated willingly, got paid, and knows everything, no one would believe her crazy ass.

Son of a BITCH do I hate the Warriors. I know most everyone does but for me it goes much deeper than that. I am beyond hate. 5 straight Finals. 5 straight Finals have I put up with the Warriors and their nonstop Warrior winning wats. I have had to watch Draymond Green eat his f*cking W's for the past half decade. My friend is a Jazz fan, he says "Oh yEaH I HatE tHe WaRRiOrs tOo BrO" and I say You dumb bitch. Shut the f*ck up with your dumb bullsh*t. We have to play them FOUR TIMES A YEAR, EVERY YEAR. and he says "yeah but" and I can't even hear him because at this point I'm thinking about that youtube thumbnail of baby faced, chewing on his mouth guard, co*cky little f*ck Steph Curry when he dad dicked the Thunder and there is blood in my ears and hate in my heart. f*ck.And don't even get me started on their fans. One of my "friends" is a Warriors and a Patriots fan. THEY'RE ON OPPOSITE COASTS YOU f*ck. And he has the nerve to call me out for being a Rockets and a Saints fan. LA (louisiana) DIDN'T HAVE A BASKETBALL TEAM WHEN I STARTED WATCHING, YOU STUPID BITCH. I CHOSE THE TEAM WITH THE PRETTY COLORS CAUSE I DIDNT REALIZE THEY WOULD HAVE SATAN A SNITCH AND HIS DONKEY IN THEIR CONFERENCE. I love how on this subreddit you can go to any given comment thread and find some idiot with a warriors flair talking about Curry. Every warriors fan would let steph curry sh*t in their cereal every morning for a FORTNIGHT just to suckle one of his ring fingers. and I just KNOW that they're reading this right now, because they infest game threads like a ganon of leeches, and halfway through skimming it with their limited reading skills they realize they have an erection, so they ctrl+shift+n and search ayesha curry feet until they bust a nut onto the keyboard, posting comments like "if this wasnt curry people would think this was cool" or just "mmmphmmgofgpsngfjg" because they still have Steph Currys DICK in their mouth.They say don't cheer for injuries. f*ck that. I hope Steph Curry gets hit by an airplane. He'll be screaming at one of his teammates who works day in and day out for him, because the warriors are only up 74 - 8, and some insane fan will just lose it and prison shank him 3 times, and then once more for good measure. And I'll watch that sh*t on youtube for the rest of my life. I'll be there at his funeral to comfort Ayesha with hors d'oeuvres but when it's my turn to sprinkle dirt on his coffin I'll drop a picture of LeBron James instead. And when security drags me out for causing a rumpus I'll just laugh and laugh, because I know that I hired the insane fan to do it. It was my plan all along. All I had to do was promise him the chance to wear step currys skin. Oh, you thought the funeral was closed casket out of respect? No, no my friend. His SKIN is gone. Where is it now, you ask? It's been... distributed. A small bribe to the chef was all it took. And now Ayesha is wondering why her pig in a blanket has the faint taste of vegetable curry ice cream, and the tears begin again as my laughter drowns out the wind and the rain. And the world keeps spinning. I am home now. Some days are good. Some days aren't. All I can do is live what life Curry has left me.

Russell Westbrook: “Pat Bev trick y’all, man, like he playing defense. He don’t guard nobody, man. He just running around, doing nothing.” Made sure to note that James Harden scored 47 tonight.

Cleveland Cavaliers general manager Koby Altman proudly waited outside the visiting locker room after the final buzzer to give LeBron James and the players on his victorious new-look team an appreciative fist pound on Sunday afternoon. Injured forward Kevin Love yelled out, “There you go! There you go.” Sharpshooter Kyle Korver gave a look of pleasant surprise. Guard J.R. Smith yelled out, “We got an [expletive] squad now.” And before James hit the locker room door, former NBA great Kevin Garnett hugged him and said, “Y’all look so different.”“At the end of the day, I like being around guys that want to win and work hard,” James said. “I know I demand a lot of excellence in my teammates. I demand it out of myself, too. On the road, we are going to play as well as we can and put ourselves in contention to compete for another championship. And that’s my mindset.”

I've lost all respect sorry this is absolutely rigged for money... Or ratings in not sure which. I won't be silent . Just saw it live sry.

If I was to pump fake right now Marquese Chriss would come crashing through my f*cking ceiling to try and block my shot

Thats f*cking basketball right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the camera bullsh*t. Men puke, men show bare ass, men deliver their new born baby on the side lines. f*cking hard core dick in the ass butterball Naismith f*ck it chuck it game time sh*t.

I don't give a f*ck who you are, which team you support, what gets you up in the morning, how good your dad is at fighting, how big your co*ck is, how much you love going for long walks or any other bullsh*t. You're on this subreddit because you love basketball. And if you love basketball then you owe it to yourself to give up every other thing you give a flying f*ck about and watch the Oklahoma City Thunder. And you know why:Russell Westbrook.Russell Westbrook is bringing it. He's bringing it hard. I wish everyone could go back and watch that five minute spell in the fourth where he came back in and just ignited the afterburners, strapped falcon talons onto his hands and drove his will deep into the Lakers' heart.Russell Westbrook is box office sh*t. If you're bored and you've got nothing to do and you don't know which game to watch, just watch Russell f*cking Westbrook deep dick stat lines with enough power to light up a major metropolis.Seriously, why the f*ck are you still reading this, go have a wank to some Wesbtrook highlight videos and pass out safe in the knowledge he plays, on average, three times a week.f*ck your own team, Russell Westbrook is your team now.

1991: Magic had HIV1992: Bulls had a way better team1993: Barkley was fat1996: saved by rodman and GP injury1997: Stockton sucks, Karl choked1998: Stockton, Karl chokedMJ has 0 rings in my book

kyle lowry ain't no spot up shooter he aint gotta run to the corner to shoot like hes some 3rd option bitch this aint jj redick this is a f*ckin god human steph curry come again only this time hes a f*ckin puss* pull up from the f*ckin logo and fight you at the same time..

Be me, 23-year-old Raptor fan, eh.Wake up, get out of DeMar DeRozan jersey.Get ready to Do My Job.Put on DeRozan jersey.Head to the Tim Hortons next to my apartment.One down the road sucks, eh.Order is wrong, whatever, DeMar says coffee is poison anyway.Shoot the cup into the trash and yell “DEMARRRRRRR”.Hop on the subway.See a Cavs fan in the front car.Yell “LeBron is leaving” as whole train chants “We the North”.Tweet “LeBum is trash” on my iPhone 2.Get to work, head into Tim Hortons.Time to get to work, see someone wrote DeFrozen on the freezer door.Just me, my co-worker and DeMar DeFrozen.Most beautiful girl from York walks in. Solid 3/10, eh?She's wearing a Vince Carter jersey and some strained yoga pants.Ask to myself, who the f*ck is that.Realize I’ve only been a fan since 2014.f*cking God’s Plan.Get off work, take the subway home.Stop into the ACC for a drink or twelve.f*cking vendor cut me off after six beers. $108 dollars wasted.Whatever, not even buzzed. Brampton blood.Get to apartment, check messages.Mom calls me and says three of my cousins were shot in Etobico*ke today.Less than usual, a good day.Get out of DeMar jersey, put on 6 God jammies.Check under bed for Paul PierceWhat the f*ck, he's there.Run to the kitchen, see dad sent me a cheque.Go to open envelope.Run to bank, teller says it’s fake and this is bank fraud.Cops show up and ask how it all went down.I call my dad and he picks up and says…Hello this is LeBron James.

“you (bleeping) need me. You cant win without me.” Butler left the teammates and coaches largely speechless. He dominated the gym in every way. Jimmys back.

KD and Kyrie went upstairs to the playroom, shared a vegan smoothie, shot a Nerf ball into a toy hoop and played NBA2K. Controlling miniature versions of themselves and their teammates, like marionettes, they wondered how else they could string together a team that was going somewhere. "And from that point," Kyrie said, "we took the power back and put it in our hands."

It’s about that time 🕐 👋 we 👥 not playin no more🙅😒 . Big boi 🍆 stuff only 🍗💯 👏 Last night 🌙 all the hard work 😠🏃🏢 payin off 💸💰 👏 All my fans 🙌, family 👨‍👦‍👦👏 Appreciate y’all. 👌👌 Thank you 👈 for taking the 🌊🌊🌊 journey 🏔🏃wit me 💯💖. And uh, you 👈 know, 💭 hopefully 👏 we gonna move on from here 👉 and everybody 👩👴👶 have a good time👌 🕐 👏 and I 👁 get in the league 🎟🏀 and do what I was I'm 👁 supposed to do 🏆🍆 💦👌 Thank y’all. 😩❤️💯 WOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 😝😝😝

Daily reminder that Micheal Fraudan is 0-4.5 billion in the Finals4.5 billion BC-1962, not even born 🤡🤡🤡1963-1983, refused to play 😭😭😭1984-2002, LeBron wasn't in the league, don't count 🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️2003-present, "retired" (scared of LeGOAT???) 🤔🤔🤔

"I was exploring space in my spaceship When I saw LEASTRONAUT trying to steal the rings off Saturn Ringed planet I had to report him to Barea and Space officer Curry LEMICKEY asked me for a ride home but I told him I'm not gonna carry you like ADisney and Kyrie did. Shame on you Lethief"

We all know about it, and we all see it. It's obvious. Nobody ever wants to admit it, but it's there.People on this subreddit hate Kobe Bryant.The first question to ask: why? Why do you all hate him? The obvious answer: you didn't watch him in his prime.Likely explanation: I know that most of you are around 14 or 15 years old. That means you only got into basketball in the last couple years. So you never watched Mamba in his prime.And because you didn't watch him in his prime, you try to compensate for that by diving into stat sheets and analyzing box scores. But here's the thing: basketball isn't played on Excel spreadsheets. The moment somebody brings up "true shooting percentage" or "win shares" I know they know nothing about basketball.Kobe's game cannot be encapsulated by one stat. He's the second greatest SG ever, and one of the 5 best players to ever play the game.So when I hear somebody say that LeBron James is better than Kobe Bryant, I laugh, because I know that anybody who watched Kobe in his prime wouldn't think that. Unlike you guys, I have watched basketball for a significant amount of time, so I know that Kobe is better.You might be jealous of Kobe's five rings, or jealous of his status as the greatest scorer in NBA history, or whatever. Unless you're a Bulls fan who watched basketball in the 90s, or a Lakers fan who watched basketball in the 2000s, you don't know what real, cold-blooded, killer instinct, will-to-win basketball looks like. And there's nothing wrong with that.This sub would make you think that Kobe isn't even a top 100 player ever.So don't go spouting bullsh*t about players you didn't watch. Talk about your "greats" like LeBron James The Best Player in the World™, but leave the Kobe talk to the adults. Fair?

Blake, meet your second option: The Nard Dog, sharpshooter for hire with the slickest pump fake in the game. Move over Korver. Move over Reddick. Move over even JOE INGLES. There’s a new white shooter in town and his name is Luke Douglas Kennard, 6’5 and 206 pounds. Watch him post up Deandre Jordan for the one handed slam and the stank face. Watch him date the daughter from Chrisley Knows Best. In 20 years Luke is going to be the second athlete to build a school like LBJ did in Akron. Nard University. Detroit will rebound on a dime as students pour in from across the world. Donovan Mitchell’s pitiful career will pale in comparison, and SVG’s true drafting prowess will be fully revealed.

So this one time I'm eating at an Indian place and as I'm eating, guy at the table next to me starts choking on his food. I turned to look and it was LEBRON!! Apparently he couldn't handle the curry. Thankfully Ray Allen was there to save him, he actually gave him mouth to mouth for like a full 2 minutes when he was still conscious.

Marcus Smart is screaming in the Celtics locker room and there is a bunch of arguing going on. Smart comes out say “y’all on that bullsh*t!” Team is imploding. Smart is in bathroom and there is still screaming coming from locker room.

Just me and my 💕thaddy💕, hanging out in gold🏅 and navy⛵ so I started to pout 😞 He asked if I was down ⬇for something wavy🌊🌊 😍 and I asked what and he said he'd give me his 🏀pavies!🏀 Yeah! Yeah!💕🏀 I shoot them!🏀 I dunk them!🏀 I rebound the ball🏀 😍 It makes 💘thaddy💘 😊happy😊 so it's my only goal... 💕🏀😫Harder thaddy! Harder thaddy! 😫🏀💕 1 pavie🏀, 2 pavie🏀🏀, 3 pavie🏀🏀🏀, 4🏀🏀🏀🏀 I'm 💘thaddy's💘 👑princess 👑but I also can score! 💟 He makes me feel feathery🕊️!He makes me feel good💜! 💘💘💘He makes me feel everything a little should!~ 💘💘💘 👑🏀💘Wa-What!💘🏀👑

"IT HAPPENED AGAIN! Yesterday as I was about to propose to my wife, LeFraud SWOOPS in out of NOWHERE and steals the ring!! I had to explain to my wife that this was because LEMICKEY has no real rings. Now she's crying and divorcing me AND taking the kids! Thanks a lot LEFRAUD!!"

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 ProCEss me the f*ck UP👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌proceSS right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about TRUst the pROCess Me rigHt NoW (chorus: process ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌

Lebron should take note of Kevin Durant’s popularity in the bald spot fetish community. KD has become one of the faces of the entire community. Bald Boys Boners Podcast did a 3 part series on him that was super interesting and really detailed the circumference of his “naked place” up top.if he shaves his head i’d really like to rub it like a jeanie lamp ngl. his head seems like it’d be the nice and smooth and rubbable type. there was a bald kid in one of my elementary school classes and we used to line up to rub his head and a good fundraiser could be people getting the chance to run brons bald head ya know

On the 12th day of Christmas LeMickey gave to me12 excuses given11 choked quarters10 faked finals9 tears to the refs8 missed free throws7 flops and travels6 finals losses5 turnovers4 clutch checks3 superteams2 bailed out ringsAnd an undeserved Mickey Mouse ring 🤡🤡🤡

Boo that you ungrateful f*cks. This kind of f*cking sh*t and all the f*cking tanking threads is why no one wants to f*cking play in New York. Why don't you useless pieces of f*cking East River garbage boat dump trashbags actually f*cking cooperate for once in your f*cking lives and appreciate that we actually had someone who gave a f*ck about us. Marbury sure didn't give a f*ck, and neither did Andrea Bargnani's pasta linguini f*cking Italian Meatball ravioli f*ckass full of f*cking olive oil f*cking fingers. Ungrateful f*cks, we don't deserve Melo for all the good sh*t he's done for us you pieces of f*cking sh*t.

My grandma passed away yesterday and who comes running in right after but LeMickey!! He snatches the ring right off of her cold dead fingers and runs away. Too bad he doesn’t know that my grandfather proposed to her at Disney world. Just another Mickey Mouse ring for LeMickey.